I woke up at 6 oclock in the morning, and I could remember my dream perfectly. It was more of a nightmare, actually. And truth be told, as childish as it may sound, it was the most traumatic thing i've ever "lived" through. As dreams go, it doesn't stick to reality, and jumps from scene to scene, not making much sense along the way.
I step onto a huge coach, except it's not a normal coach. It's about 3 times as wide, and full of students. I manage to find myself a seat next to a girl called Lauren.
We get up to go to the bathroom. We walk to the back of the bus, and end up on a street, even though we're still technically on the bus. This is the first of two images that I remember very clearly. Almost too clearly. Lara, a very dear friend, is standing there, in the middle of a dark street, looking as pale as a sheet, and as weak as physically possible before death. Blood is running down both her legs, but there's no wound. She's dying. She struggles to get one foot ahead of the other to take a step forward. It still seems so real. Lauren runs to get some help. I carry Lara in my arms and walk to the front of the bus. For some reason, my cousin Aly is the driver, and I tell him to go get his car, we need to get her to the hospital. He takes a look at Lara and rushes off the coach to get his parked car. I follow, still carrying my dying friend.
I spend the entire dream trying to find my cousin Aly, while Lara dies in my arms. As the dream develops, the journey becomes more and more difficult. i suddenly find myself having to cross a stone bridge, over dangerous water. There are waves crashing onto the bridge, while I attempt to get across. I'm scared. We're going to get washed away off the bridge. I hold Lara even tighter, and eventually, we make it over to the other side.
I'm suddenly sitting in the backseat of a car, but it's not Aly's, and we're not going to the hospital. Instead, I forget that Lara is dying in my lap, and get caught up in some kind of mindless conversation with someone sitting next to me.
I look down, and realise Lara is dead. That split-second moment of realisation is the second moment from the dream that I remember all too clearly. It's as if a big black heavy weight has come to rest in the pit of my stomach. I've never experienced anything like it. It's like a mixture of complete desperation, shock, regret and realisation all at once. And then the crying begins. It's uncontrollable and never-ending.
I wake up.
I spoke to Lara and Aly immediately after waking up. Simply re-telling this nightmare had me in floods of tears.
Lara, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. I love you.