Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Flashback

You know that special buzz you get when your Ipod is on shuffle and it randomly selects the most perfect song to fit your mood? It's like a tiny miracle. Last night, in the darkness of my room and in the comfort of my bed, the holy Ipod took me back to a specific moment in my life 4 years ago.

Nothing spectacular happened. In fact, nothing happened at all. I didn't speak to anyone, or do anything remarkable. It was just one of those moments that still float around in your memory for no apparent reason. I am 14 years old and I am about to leave the house to get some milk. I'm wearing my jacket and scarf and I'm ready to go. I remember taking a quick look at the mirror and spending a minute longer there than expected. I examine myself. For the first time in my life, I am completely satisfied with the way I look. More than that, I am happy with the way I look. I feel pretty. Not beautiful, not striking, not mesmerising. Just pretty. Such a shallow thought, yet such a powerful feeling. I remember realising I had never felt anything like it before, and jumping around my room with happiness!

It's a strange thing, this concept of beauty. Even at the age of 14, when you should be running around having water fights and reading comic books, you are all too aware of it.