Saturday, February 27, 2010

It Was Nothing

I saw two people share a look and it made me uncomfortable.

It was just two friends catching up - right? They hadn't seen each other in years. That's all it was. Of course it was - but dammit, I saw that look. It was full of admiration. Appreciation. Regret?

I wonder what she's thinking.

She would never cross that line. But the line doesn't lie between her actions and her self-control. The line is blurred somewhere between her feelings of happiness and regret.

I wasn't the only one who saw it.

If nobody else had noticed, I would have shrugged it off as a slip of my imagination. But somebody did notice - and somebody did feel uncomfortable. What does that mean?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

We're All Just Ridiculously Intelligent

It's a selfish world we live in. We spend most of our lives trying to "find ourselves" - all the while, too busy to notice what others have found in themselves.

We may manage to convince ourselves that we are good people. We look out for each other. We take the time of day to listen to each other's problems. But it's false. We're good people only when there's something in it for us. We look out for each other only because we want to be seen as kind and caring people. We take the time of day to listen to each other's problems only to make ourselves feel better. We listen. We learn. And we apply. It's all, so we can make ourselves feel like more rounded and knowledgeable human beings.

We're so consumed by the idea that we're the world's most interesting people. We believe we have such passion, excitement and point of view to offer. It never even crosses our minds that we are insignificant. Sure, we all have our bad days, when we feel unworthy. But, as always, when that day is over, we hop back onto the bandwagon of self-appointed importance.

We recognise intelligence in others. It inspires us. But ultimately, it only instills in us an arrogance. We believe that we are the intelligent ones, for being able to entertain their intellectuality. It's almost as if we're on the verge of slipping in a sly comment upon coming across somebody of substantial intelligence: it takes one to know one. Wink Wink.

We become less and less tolerant of the banalities that consume our daily conversations. We look down on those whose main cause for excitement comes from the weekly updates on the neighbour's affair with the milkman.

So what do we do? We surround ourselves by people we believe share our infinite intellectual capacity. We read books that have become "absolute classics" by people from a different time, who also believed they were their generation's free thinkers. We refuse to watch romantic comedies for their lack of substance. We pride ourselves on not having been to McDonalds since the 80s. It's all beneath us.

No, what it is though, is bullshit.